Acceptance
by roswellchick22
Summary: Castiel ponders about his charge, his feelings, while in the midst of having Dean Winchester’s gaze on him. Spoilers for 4x16, and one-shot!


Title: Acceptance

Author: lj user="buckshotwon"

Disclaimer: Eric Kripke, the CW, and co. own Supernatural and its characters. Rating: PG-13

Genre/Pairing: Dean/Castiel, slash.

Warnings: Spoilers really if you haven't seen latest episode (4x16), still!

Summary: Castiel ponders about his charge, his feelings, while in the midst of

having Dean Winchester's gaze on him.

His mind was wracking with confusion. How could he make him believe that he was strong enough? How could he tell him that there is faith in him, despite what he thinks? Castiel, he didn't know what to think at that moment. He could feel the minutes ticking away as he and Dean sat in the hospital room in silence.

Who knew where Sam was, although both had a good guess where he was.

He let out a sigh that Dean recognized instantly. It was a sigh of defeat.

iDefeat? Where was that coming from?/i

Castiel shifted his eyes over in his direction, catching Dean's gaze upon. "Alright, Dean, if that's what you want to believe. We can… pick another recipient. You can sit here in the darkness of this room and feel sorry for yourself. I could heal you, if you wanted me to, but I think that you'd prefer to sit here in pain, yes?"

Dean's eyebrow rose. This was happening not like he expected. "I don't… I don't feel sorry for myself." He blurted out; it was a bit on the defensive side.

"Dean, look at you. You were a strong person, you still are, but this isn't you. I've been around humans long enough to know that deep down, there's still a bit of faith in you, Dean. But sitting here and crying, you're wasting your tears for nothing. Yes, you broke the first seal, and yes your father lasted for almost one hundred years in Hell, but this is a chance of redemption, of proving yourself that you are still you, Dean, despite what you've gone through." Castiel had spoken the truth, whether Dean wanted to hear it or not.

The angel stood up on his feet, and looked out the blinds that were still slightly open, letting some of the moonlight to come in. "God is forgiving, remember that."

It was almost time for him to depart from his charge for a while. And the older brother felt a tug around his presence, like he could feel when the angel was arriving or departing.

"Wait," Dean spoke up. He looked at the other angel under his bruised eye and licked his chapped lips. "Do you believe in me?"

Castiel only gave him a small smile that was hidden from the way his body was facing towards the window. "I do, Dean." He looked away from the window and back to his charge who was struggling to sit up right. "We all do."

He wanted to reach out and help him, to let him know that he was there for him, but he figured Dean would take it the wrong way. Pity, that's the word he was looking for.

"I must go, they're calling me."

"Wait," Dean said, straining still. His body was weak, too weak for him to be moving. "I'm your charge, right? So look, tell your little angel friends that you are going to stay here with me, okay?" He cleared his throat and waited to see what Castiel would do.

Sam was long gone, and he had come to grips with that one. But he was still his brother, no matter what. And he wasn't here with him right now but Castiel was.

"Is that what you want, Dean?"

"Yeah," that was his only reply. He felt like he wanted to fall asleep again, perhaps it was the medication wearing him back down. From underneath his eyelashes, he watched Castiel close his eyes, and he looked like he was in a bit of a trance. Was he communicating with…whoever it was up there without words?

Castiel was almost frightened of what he was told. He was told to istay/i. With Uriel gone, he didn't have the wandering eyes on him. "I'll stay with you for the night, Dean. Until I feel that Sam is near, then, I must go."

Dean gasped as his chest tightened from the pain and restriction. He was moving too fast, moving faster than his body was allowing him to. His hand gripped the bed sheet tightly, but then he felt release run through his body. Castiel's hand was touching his chest, healing him. Their eyes had met and Castiel broke it before speaking. "I've taken the pain away for only temporarily."

The other man nodded his head before his hand grasped the angel's. He was warm, like the vessel was alive itself.

Dean hadn't felt this kind of warmth before.

Castiel didn't know when it happened. It just added more confusion for him, but when his lips pressed against Dean's in a kiss, his first nonetheless, he felt a little…clumsy in the process.

He searched for an answer from Dean who didn't respond to him with words just yet. "I don't know if it's the medication, or the fact that I'm really on the verge of not giving a damn, but it felt," Dean paused, struggling to find the word. "right."

"Like fate, Dean." Castiel replied.

iFate./i It was a word that Dean was now starting to think about.


End file.
